Do voices in your head tell you your writing isn’t good enough?
Do you to talk yourself out of writing because you never succeed (whatever that means)? Do you feel embarrassed or ashamed for sharing your work? Do you remind yourself each November that if you don’t do NaNoWriMo, you’re missing out, or worse, you’re a loser (after all, EVERYONE does it!).
It’s one thing to have your characters have negative thoughts (“Everybody hates me!” occurs in a YA I’m currently reading), but what happens when you, the author, has them?
Having some negative thoughts is normal. They help us (and our ancestors) solve problems, identify threats and stay safe.
So don’t beat yourself up for having negative thoughts.
But for some of us, these negative thoughts become repetitive. They create a habit of negative thinking which can create stress, anxiety and keep us from writing or doing things we enjoy.
Dr. Aaron Beck coined the term ANTs, or Automatic Negative Thoughts, in the 1960’s. Recently, Dr. Daniel Amen explored these thought patterns further.
I’m not a therapist and I don’t play one on TV. But I’ve been to enough therapy sessions and support groups to be able to know those ANTs crawl around in my brain a lot.
I’ve only recently learned how to try to knock down their pesky little ANT hills.
But first, let’s identify some ANTs, also sometimes called "cognitive distortions."
All or nothing thinking
“If I’m not the best writer, I’m a failure.”
“If my beta readers have criticism, the whole manuscript must be horrible.”
"My second book will never be as good as my debut."
This thinking can lead you to “why am I even trying?”
2. Assuming
“No one liked my tweet, people hate me.”
“This is a waste of time, I can’t do it.”
“I blew my in-person pitch. It's over.”
These thoughts lead to jumping to conclusions. Two types of assuming are “mindreading” (imagining we know what others are thinking) and “fortune telling” (predicting the future).
3. Blaming: You become the victim with this thinking and you don’t take responsibility for your own actions.
“I can’t get my writing done, my partner/kid/cat keeps distracting me!”
Okay, I might have to give you that one.
4. Magnification (catastrophizing and minimizing)
Catastrophizing: Exaggerating. “If this agent doesn’t request a full, I’ll die.”
Minimizing: Shrinking the positive to make it seem less important. "My book has gotten a lot of five star reviews, but I think the one star reviews are the only honest ones"
5. Dwelling on the negative and rejecting the positives. This means using a mental filter to discount the good things (“that doesn’t count”) in favor of the negative:
“My poem got declined, I’ll never have another acceptance again.”
“My agent doesn’t like this idea, now my whole day/month/year is ruined.”
“My short story is published, but who cares? A novel is more important.”
6. Fairytale fantasies
“I’m going to hit send on this query, I’ll get a response in record time (5 minutes!) for a full request, the agent will call me to beg me to let them represent me, my book goes to auction. Six figures, baby!”
Oh, and if the above doesn’t happen, I’m a failure. Segue to:
7. Labeling
“I’m a loser.” (negative self-labeling)
“They’re such an idiot.” (assigning reductionist labels to others, which can lead to stereotyping)
“I’m not a real writer.”
“She writes 500 words a day. I’m so lazy.”
8. Emotional reasoning (making feelings facts)
“I’m embarrassed so I must be an idiot.”
9. Overgeneralizing: Seeing a pattern based on a single event, or being overly broad in drawing a conclusion. Often involve the words always, never, every time, everyone, everything.
“Everything I write stinks (or your version of that word).”
“I’ll never be published.”
“Everyone has an agent except me.”
10. Shoulds, musts, oughts: These words can make us feel guilty or like we have already failed. If you apply “should” to other people, the result is often frustration.
“The editor should like this.”
“I must do NaNoWriMo.”
“I ought to write early in the morning.”
11. Unfavorable comparisons
"Everyone has had more success than I have!"
"How did she get that published?"
I’m sure we’ve all compared ourselves to other writers at one time or another. I know I have.
So, do any of these ANTs or repetitive thought patterns resonate with you?
Now that you know what to look for, in my next blog post I’ll share what I’ve learned on how to get these pesky ANTs out of your head.