If voices in your head tell you your writing isn’t good enough, here are some ways to tackle those thoughts and get back on track.
In Part I of my blog post on Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs, we looked at some examples of this distorted thinking. In this Part II, we’ll look at ways you can address some negative thoughts. I’m not a therapist, so contacting a therapist or mental health specialist is the best approach if you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed.
Some ANTs can lead you to anxiety and stress, and keep you from your writing goals. They include: All-or-Nothing Thinking, Assuming, Blaming, Catastrophizing and Minimizing, Emotional Reasoning, Labeling, Unfavorable Comparisons and Shoulds, Musts, Oughts.
When these negative thoughts slip into your mind, here are some steps you can take to counteract them.
1) Stop. Pause for a moment to identify and isolate the thought.
Use the list above and see if you can categorize which one your thought falls into. Some people find it helpful to write the thought and the category down and see if there’s a pattern or if certain things or people triggering the cognitive distortions. You might feel relief writing down your negative thought because it gets it out of your mind and on paper. Also note your emotions around the thought.
2) Challenge. After you’ve identified the negative thought, it’s time to challenge it.
Consider writing down the answers to these questions:
What is the evidence for this thought? If you think my manuscript is horrible or no one will like my pitch, figure out why you think these thoughts.
“My critique partner highlighted lots of places that need work.”
“I’ve never gotten a request in a pitch contest.”
What is the evidence against this thought?
“There are some places in my manuscript that really worked for my beta reader. They even laughed out loud!”
“I’ve been practicing my pitch and got helpful feedback. I’m ready!”
Am I basing this thought on facts or feelings?
Is this thought clear-cut, or is it more complicated?
Could I be misinterpreting the evidence or making assumptions?
3) Create an alternative, more neutral thought.
“I’m going to think about changes to make to my manuscript. My partners are encouraging me.”
“I’ve been working really hard on my pitch, I’m learning.”
“I’m a hard worker.”
“I have value as a person regardless of my writing or what others think of my work.”
Here are some additional steps you can take to pause and distract your mind:
Reframe your thoughts.
Thought: “I should write today”
Reframe to: “I love how I feel after writing.”
“I look forward to writing each day.”
“I enjoy the process of writing regardless of the result.”
Give yourself permission: “It’s okay to take a break from writing today! Even thinking about my story is progress.”
Take a moment to observe the sounds, smells, sights around me. For instance, pick a color like “blue” and try to find everything blue that’s around you at that moment (my phone case, water bottle, the sky out the window). Focus only on the sounds you can hear at that moment (hum of the refrigerator, lawn mower outside). You can also focus on your breathing, paying attention to each breath.
You can also try progressive muscle relaxation. Starting with your toes--clench and unclench them. Move to your calves, thighs, arms, hands, fingers and shoulders.
Take a break. Go outside, take a walk, call a friend, or go off social media for a while until you can get these ANTs in check. Social media can be a big trigger for me.
"She has so many followers!"
"Look at that perfect FB page!"
"They're promoting another book and I haven’t done anything!"
Again, if you find that you are really struggling, please reach out to a therapist or mental health professional.
Be kind to yourself. A few ANTs are normal, and even important sometimes, but an infestation is not.
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